He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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