so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
