he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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