My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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