whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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