I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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