Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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