she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
That reminds me...we need to get swords
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
