just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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