dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
