sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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