I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I would fuck him just for his dog
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
