a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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