I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
