how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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