His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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