I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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