There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
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