Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
