Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
