I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
