you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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