im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
