i don't like sucking hair
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Randomize
