There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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