I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
