I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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