fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
