ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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