then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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