I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize
