All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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