Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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