I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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