Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
