? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
