She said her name was "party"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
