he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
