Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize