Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My vagina just recognized that song.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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