shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
