Pregnant stripper...not hot.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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