omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize