Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
