I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
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