yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
