I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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