you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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