dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
