His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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