so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
