In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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