She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
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