I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
