I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
