Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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