stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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