It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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