But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
