thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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