So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
lets start a swedish sibling band together
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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