I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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