We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
