We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
