she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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